Sunday, December 6, 2015

Reverb15 - Ancestral Healings and Verdicts...

Hello my fellow Creative Beasts,
Today I am playing catch up with two prompts of Reverb15, hosted by Kat McNally of "I Saw You Dancing". There is still time to sign up HERE and play along if you are inspired to do so.

And now for the writing prompts of this past weekend...

Day 6 Reverb15 Prompt: Ancestral Healings

This prompt is given to us by fellow Reverb participant, and now amazing contributor, Cindy Mearns, with whom I began a wonderful mail art correspondence after last years August Moon! I am SO EXCITED to see her contributing to this years Reverb 15!

So here is our prompt...

As each year progresses, we unknowingly gather many thoughts, beliefs, and patterns to us. In fact, what we are carrying may have been passed down to us from previous generations.  

Looking at the thoughts and patterns that may be holding you back from living the life you want, trace back through the generations of your family and see if your beliefs originated generations ago.  

In 2016, how can you bring healing to these patterns of thought that are holding you back?

...Honestly, I'm not sure how to work around this complex writing prompt...I began to write about my great grandmothers sewing skills, and the sewing skills passed along to me from my grandmother, but this is not getting to the heart of what is being asked...

However, I did speak to a friend today about how my grandmother was a 'gifted invalid' throughout my mothers childhood, giving the impression that she was not able to prepare meals or clean the home, tasks that were given to my mother and uncle while growing up - in fact, my grandmother had all her meals brought to her on a tray...oh, to live in such luxury!

You see, my grandmother had a lung removed due to tuberculosis, which took place during the early 1940's, and having only one lung to work with meant my grandmother 'couldn't get sick' since she only had one lung and catching a cold could be fatal...or that is what we were told growing up.

But once my uncle and mother were able to leave home, lo, and behold, my grandmother showed herself capable of cooking the meals and using a vacuum cleaner to clean what was her immaculate, spotless home, that my mother would joke looked like 'a layout from Better Homes & Gardens' for all its perfection...and my grandmother was also able to take a solo trip to Europe, long after my uncle and mother moved out of the 'old homestead'...that is a pretty big adventure for a person with only 'one lung'.

And did I mention that my grandmother was verbally abusive to my mother growing up?

I can tell you that my grandmother was not a 'fun' grandma when I was a child, and truth be told, learning to sew with my grandmother was an awful ordeal for me as my grandmother was critical, picky and had perfectionist tendencies.

Some days I marvel at the miracle that I bothered to keep sewing at all, even going so far as to enroll in a 2 year Fashion Design and Pattern Drafting program.

But what does this have to do what is holding me back from the living the life I want?

Oh yes...the idea of having the 'perfect home' - clean, uncluttered, perfect and pristine, which my grandmother lived for, became anathema for me, as it did for my mother.

My mother would always say how she preferred a home that 'looked lived in' to my grandmothers 'showcase home', and this has formed how my own living environment has been for a long time, with my creative studio taking this 'lived in look' to an extreme with too much clutter...

How to heal this 'pattern of PERFECTION vs. LIVED IN home environment'?

Lucky for me, this week I had a session with an energetic life coach who pointed out that living in a messy studio is NOT WORKING FOR ME and I need to HONOR this...and as an adult, I know that I don't need my studio to be a 'perfect studio', but I DO need a cleaner and tidier studio to MAKE ME HAPPY.

So I began to fill an 18 gallon tub with supplies and materials I no longer wish to keep in my studio...bit by bit, I hope to heal the old wounds of 'clutter as rebellion' toward my critical grandmother and clean out my studio into a place of calm, grounded serenity, that will MAKE ME HAPPY TO WORK IN...

As I continue to 'invite CLARITY, TRUST & MAGIC into my life', people are beginning to cross my path to help me with healing many old wounds. And this is a wonderful thing...

Day 7 Reverb15: The Verdict

The prompt from Kat is this:

In her seminal book Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott offers the observation:
“The evidence is in, and you are the verdict.”

Regardless of where you live in this crazy beautiful world, I'm sure you'll agree it's been a BIG year.

Today, I want to acknowledge that you are here and I am here and we are here.

We're just... HERE.

That feels like a BIG DEAL.

And, that being said, I invite you to reflect on all that this evinces. What are you the verdict of?

(And if you have any doubt that you are a wonder to be celebrated, may I suggest you go back and look at your entry for Reverb15 Day 5?)

If I look back to my Reverb15 Post for Day 5, I stand as a verdict to the power of setting intentions...

As I made my intention to 'Invite CLARITY, TRUST & MAGIC into my life', slowly but surely, things have begun to fall into place in my life:
  • A free spot in the Inner Alchemy Card Deck course from a 'fairy godmother'
  • A 'fairy card reading' from a friend given to me out of the blue, yet setting a positive tone before my 50th birthday
  • A visit with a 'fellow dreamer' which turned into more of an 'intuitive business reading' with many insights on how I can move forward with my creative business, that doesn't require me to work so damn hard all the time!
  • Some opportunities falling into place
  • Free session with the aforementioned energetic life coach
  • Making some new connections that might result in a part time job and place for teaching my workshops
  • Another 'fairy godmother' gift being given to me - more about this soon!

Thanks to participating in Mondo Beyondo, I am finally learning how powerful intentions really are, how powerful it is to have goals, write lists and believe in magic, and I have learned that it is okay to honor doing things in a way that honors me and my needs...

This feels like a BIG DEAL!

Thank you for stopping by my blog and reading today!

1 comment:

Deborah Weber said...

So much goodness here Monica. I'm totally inspired by your tackling your studio to turn it into a more fabulous reflection of what you want. And I'm so glad you allowed yourself the joy of sewing, despite the initial less-than-thrilling start.

I think about my own dance with perfection a lot. While I've released its hold in a great many areas of my life and feel good about it, there are still places where I hold less-than-kind thoughts for myself for not living up to some ideal. And yet, I also think about how well paying close attention to details and trying to perfect my skills has really served me in so many ways. And so yet again, as everything seems to me lately, everything is simply information to help us find our sweet spot.