Sunday, October 31, 2010

I'm so scared...

...but not because it's Halloween night...

I'm scared that I will not be able to find another job...

I've written before about my current work situation and I've been looking for a better job, though I have been taking the time to locate something that is in alignment with who I am, as well as looking for something closer to home. But so far, nothing has panned out and it's scaring me...
  • I'm scared that the messages that are being implied in my current workplace ("artists are not welcome here", "you don't deserve better pay so we're cutting your pay", "you have to make do with inferior technology", "it's a terrible economy so there are NO jobs for you") are seeping into my subconscious...
  • I'm scared that not knowing how to use current technology/programs may be hurting my chances for a better job...
  • I'm scared that my subconscious is starting to believe that I don't deserve a higher level of pay for the work I do...
  • I'm scared that my subconscious is starting to believe that there are no jobs for someone as skilled and hardworking as I am...
I've discussed one of the biggest problems in this workplace with old co-workers who have managed to escape, which is a culture of RESISTANCE TO CHANGE. I fear this culture may be known in the larger world of non-profits locally and that it may be tainting me "by association"...

I know it may sound far-fetched but I just can't shake these ideas...

It's as though I'm surrounded by people (zombies?!) who have learned to accept that they deserve the treatment they are getting, but I am not and I try to fight it but I'm not heard.

It sounds like a horror movie, doesn't it?

Except it's what is happening in my life at this time...and it's rather horrific to be surrounded by people who ARE resistant to change, who quietly accept the treatment they are getting, and would rather complain about the treatment instead of taking some actions to make a CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. It's as if it's easier for them to accept the FEAR instead of to take charge of their own lives and they are trying to suck me into their world of complacency! EEEEK!

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Okay, I just needed to indulge that little bit of fear for a moment so I can now move forward...PSYCH!! ;)

Let's take a good look at all that I have done to get out of this work situation and into a better OPPORTUNITY - notice I didn't say "JOB"? That's because I know that OPPORTUNITY is a better word because I really don't know what may be coming my way that is INFINITELY BETTER than a "job" =-)

Here are the things I've done that will lead to the next Big Thing:

  • I started working with a great life coach
  • I started my blog
  • I've met amazing bloggers that are supportive in the work I do and I support the work they do as well
  • I attended an art retreat
  • I opened an etsy shop
  • I took an amazing e-course to help me with  my creative business
  • I've submitted artwork that landed one exhibit and two publications
  • I've submitted work for a contest and will use that submission to create a bigger project to help others
  • I'll be attending another art retreat
  • I'm planning on attending a training to do work that is in alignment with who I am and what I do
  • I opened another etsy shop to generate extra funds for my creative endeavors and share a legacy of creativity
  • I'm working on another project that I hope will help others to find a different kind of "ancestry" they can draw upon for inspiration...more about that soon...
  • I'm planning to take this awesome on-line workshop which comes in time for my birthday goal of making a big vision board for my personal new year - I think this project will be a great way to achieve that!

With a list like that, a better opportunity has just got to be around the corner for me. I am working toward CREATING OPPORTUNITIES instead of looking for a "job" because in this way, the sky is the limit!

Though a better job close to home with better pay won't be refused! ;)

What is YOUR list of accomplishments you can point to and say "Look at all that ACHIEVEMENT! I'm pretty awesome!"  - I'd love to hear about some of those achievements!

I hope you are having a fun and creative Halloween with more treats than tricks!!

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Remember: today is the last day to sign up for the knitting giveaway! You have until 5pm Pacific Standard Time...


Gwynnie B said...

Creating opportunities, yes!! Making a list of accomplishments, yes!!

You're ready for big changes and those big changes are going to embrace you.

"Someone" wrote on a cute card for me once: soar with courage.

Soar high, sistah :)

humel said...

Good for you - you acknowledged your fears, then you smashed them with a list of all the positive and proactive things you're doing to change the situation. YOU GO GIRL!! We're all rooting for you xx

Louise Gale said...

Oh Monica, this is such an important post and process. Seeing those fears and staying positive make us such better beings and knowing there are better things for us out there means we are on the right path. You deserve the life you are meant to live and putting all those positive forces out there will ultimately attract it, I know...there is so much I have to tell on things that have happened to me recently by doing that. You are so on the right path sista, keep going, stay strong.

I'm taking Amelias class too and its going to be a great pre-requisite to what Im creating and going to be running in many exciting things for us to ensure 2011 and beyond is going to be a huge success. Hang in there, we are the change we want to see in the world. xxx

Stitchybritt said...

It sounds like you're doing the right things to turn the negative situation into a positive.

People power is a big one - you mentioned the zombies you work with - make sure you are surrounding yourself with people who are inspiring and positive, and who work for the kinds of organisations you would like to work for. Networking is such a massive part of finding a job. If you go to an event or workshop and someone is there from a place you would really like to work - do and introduce yourself! Not only will you meet great people but it means you will be in their minds the next time a job comes up.

Kerri said...

well i'm so glad you made that awesome list of all that you've done- (and it's an impressive list!)

so just focus on that good stuff! and continue to be brave!

John said...

love this post!

Eddie Bluelights said...

Thanks for your encouraging comment re Amelia's interview.
Glad I came over and read your post - very thought provoking.

It's ALL in the mind!! Think positive all the time. There ARE opportunities out there when we are almost convinced there are not and life is difficult. Someone has to get the jobs and why not you or I?

This is my motto in life:
Aim high! Aim at the stars and you might just reach the ceiling! Aim at the ceiling and you might not get off the ground! It works!

Best wishes for whatever you do in life. Love the blog name btw.

Kindest regards ~ Eddie

Faith Hope Cherrytea ~ said...

that is one IMPRESSIVE list of accomplishments my girl! and don't you forget it!