Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Pondering Scarcity...

I've been thinking of this concept of "scarcity" for awhile now and it's come back to me as I left a wish in the safekeeping of Tinniegirl*:

"I wish to bust through my fears/biases of financial wealth and earn MORE than $30kfor ONCE in my life!! It's time for me to end my own "poverty mentality"!!"

This is something that came up as I worked through my Word of the Year worksheets and it came up in the last written exercise to write down a "home run" for 2010. As I wrote out my "home run/big dream", it just started to flow through me, into my pen and onto the paper:

"...to find an amazing employment opportunity that HONORS my CREATIVITY and VALUES my wealth of experience and REWARDS my creative experience with a salary of $45 k or HIGHER!!"

This is the first time I have EVER dreamed so big for myself, let alone written it down on paper, but working through the worksheets for my Word of the Year, along with the work I have done with my coach, I have really allowed myself to dare in ways I have never done before. Despite the pay-cut that is coming in my workplace, I believe that something better is coming to me...

But where does this idea of 'scarcity' come from? Why do I continue to believe in the myth of the "Starving Artist"? Is it an internal belief that I don't deserve to earn a living creating beautiful, meaningful gifts that bring happiness and joy to people?

an abundance of ribbons, threads and other miscellany from my creative play-space

I've been doing a simple "Abundance Meditation" in the evenings, in my creative play-space (which I think is fitting since this is the space I create in and I am working on bringing more Art-FULL CREATIVITY into my life) and what I have been focusing on is the abundance I have NOW. I am hoping that by focusing on the abundance I have now, I can start to internalize what abundance feels like so I can begin to bring more of it into my life and I certainly do have an abundance of good things around me:

paper ephemera
rubber stamps
books of inspiration
paints and pencils

Not to mention the added goodness of:

a wonderful boyfriend who has a great sense of humor!
amazing and creative friends
fantastic people in the neighborhood I work in
thoughtful and thought-provoking performance artists I love to work with
a new community of blogging Artists and Heart-felt writers
my awesome Life Coach
my very dear Wise Woman

I have to look at these lists of goodness and wonder:

Why do I continue to feel that I am struggling all the time? What am I struggling against?

Am I struggling against my Self??

* - my deep-felt thanks to Tinniegirl for her generous offer to hold the wishes of so many beautiful artists, creators and dreamers - I know they are being kept in the safest and most magical of all places: her heart =-)


Susan L (lily40au) said...

It's such an amazing thing by Tinniegirl ... I've taken the plunge as well and my wish is to explore. It'll be nice to see how we've gone over the year ... as I know you've been working so hard to move forward. Good luck.

I Saw You Dancing said...

Such breathtaking questions! I am so proud of you for asking them.
Whenever I think of The Starving Artist, images of wounded isolation spring to mind. Someone who feels that their talents are misunderstood and their efforts underestimated.
NONE of these things spring to mind when I think of you! The Creative Beast oozes passion, creativity, and joie de vivre. The Creative Beast reaches out and connects with kindred spirits. The Creative Beast manifests such abundance, she is able to nurture those who are just starting out on their creative journeys.
I would like to honour your quest to attract a salary that more appropriately reflects your talents, expertise and work ethic. This is your right, you deserve it, and I think you are going about it the right way.
But I also wonder if honouring the struggle may also be a useful path? Maybe the tension between doing the things you love and doing things that earn you money has a significant role to play? Maybe it will never resolve itself but maybe that's OK?
I'm reminded here of Summer Pierre, who wrote a delicious little zine called "An Artist in the Office". It is going to be published as a book in February this year and has so much to say about balancing and celebrating our multiple selves.

humel said...

Good for you, for wishing big :-) Love what Tinniegirl is doing and I've left a wish in her safest of keeping myself x

PS I can't add to the comment above but I sure can echo it! What an amazing response!

The Creative Beast said...

Yes, Kat's response is so kind and amazing and I'm learning to take it all in and say:

"every word is true!!" =-)

i DO find it hard to realize the abundance in my own life sometimes, but I have much experience of art and craft in my life and i KNOW how transforming it can be, so i TREASURE any opportunity to encourage others to do the same so they, too, can feel it's transformational effects =-)

good luck to Mel and Susan with your wishes! Education is SO important and exploration is really just another way to learn more about ourselves and the World.

chrissy said...

wow...what's not been said about you?
this was a great post. thank you for sharing it. it gave me a whole bunch to think about.
tinniegirl does rock no?
we are going to have so much fun together.
can't wait to finally meet you in person my dear.
oh, and i am LOVING the photo of your creative play space...it looks lovely.

Cathy (Tinniegirl) said...

You brought a tear to my eye. Thank you so much for your kind words.

I can relate to every single word you have said in this post, particularly the struggle. I had to face the same questions last year, I had to own up to the fact that I was the one creating my struggle.

I love the approach you are taking, focusing on the apparent abundance in your life as a means to recognising abundance when it is around you.

I'm about to write you an email and I'll tell you something else that springs to mind reading this post.

See you soon my friend.